- Friday, 9 January 2009
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Darth Vader 'drank 10 litres of wine'
OBI WAN BIN BAG, the INQ's favourite nutter, appeared before the galactic court in Yns Mon today, accused of attacking two hapless Jedi knights.
Evil Lord Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, admitted assaulting Welsh Jedis Barney Jones and his cousin Michael with a crutch.
At the time of the attack, Hughes was wearing a black bin bag and shouting " Darth Vader."
When Vader's personal ship failed to arrive on time, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: "I hope the force will soon be with him. "
When the evil one finally turned up, the court heard that he had jumped over a garden wall wearing the bin bag before the attack and that he had a chronic alcohol problem, having drunk almost ten litres of wine.
Hughes admitted two charges of common assault, but added that he had no recollection of the attack until he read about it in the local papers.
The case was adjourned for pre-sentencing reports until next month. µ
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I'm sure the Schwartz was strong with him, but did they count his midichlorians? Well I'm sure he brought "balance" to the force with that crutch!
What?
I'm not stunned by how drunk a person can be. I'm stunned by the mass of water. 10 liters is a LOT. poke the guy and he could blow up
The UK Church of the Jedi should not be persecuted by the likes of Obi Wan Bin Bag. It's high time the garden be a place of tolerance. In times of religious divversity, we can often learn from studying other faiths. Take that Pope Benny. I never pegged him for a baseball fan, until I spied him having a drink at Yankee Stadium. Those MLB steroid-shots were heard around the world! So the Pope set an example by showing that getting to second base was ok. Evil Lord Arwel Wynne Hughes is not using his Holyhead for anything more than a wine jar-jar bibber. He should admit that he may be using alcohol_ nay! Communion wine?! _as a crutch... Then least-a-ways, he'd be done DJ Andrew Shaw, Sisther Lord Darth Spinola, and the hole Wales a favor. Eh? Lesser or greater Yns Mon community services. That said, all conjestion charges aside, what moon base does one need to over to get smoking lucky strikes?
Common I mean how far is this being taken. I take it the heads of the welsh Jedi council have absolutely no sense of humour. I mean how bad were the whacks with the crutches, if I was a mate and had seen that happen I would have been on my back in stitches. It’s always funny when it does not happen to me but do they have to prosecute this guy, just loose the sour grapes already. One thing does puzzle me though, 10 litres of wine… is that how much he has drunk throughout his lifetime or just how much he had that week. Because after 10 litres of wine I would like to see anyone fly over a wall with a crutch and beat 2 full grown men down… I think the welsh Jedi council should make this guy his friend because he has one good sense of humour. I would pay money to see what they caught on video.
haha, that was my cousin! i think the ppl has took it too serious, come off it, not like they got beaten to death!!