Darth Vader on the lash
A BIN BAG-CLAD villain, dressed as Darth Vader who downed the equivalent of ten bottles of wine before attacking two ill-fated Welsh Jedi knights, dueling in their garden, has been sentenced to a two-month suspended jail sentence and a £100 fine.
Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, who proudly donned a black bin bag cape and wielded a crutch to double as a light sabre, assaulted Welsh Jedis Barney Jones and his cousin Michael as they play fought each other inside the grounds of the "Jedi Church" in Holyhead, northwest Wales. The two claim to have been "filming a documentary", when their fun was spoiled by an alcohol-fuelled baddie.
The Dark Lord of the Sith screamed out "Darth Vader" as he wildly whacked away at the two Jedi guardians of peace and justice with his crutch. Barney Jones took a cropper to the head, whilst Michael Jones suffered a painful punched thigh.
It is apparently not the first time that Hughes has been convicted of drunken violence, although it is unclear whether his other rampages involved invocation of the dark side, or attacks on delusional sci–fi geeks. Hughes apparently didn’t even remember the attack, according to lawyer Frances Jones, and only realised the error of his ways after reading about it in his local paper.
District judge Andrew Shaw was definitely not feeling the farce as he sentenced Hughes, who will now have to go home and think about what he has done. And possibly crack open another 10 litre box of wine while he’s at it. µ
LInq
AFP
See Also
Darth Vader attacks Welsh Jedi
Darth Vader 'drank 10 litres of wine'
Welsh Jedis set up space colony
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Apparently the faux-Vader was trying to necessitate the similarity between medichlorine count and blood alcohol content. Methinks he was successful, at least on some level notwithstanding sanity.
He was ordered to pay £100 to each of his two victims and prosecution costs of £60
I actually think that the idea of creating a Jedi Academy on the Moon is an eminently sensible idea. Let's face it, who would want to attend a Jedi Academy in Wales? :-P
Wine manufacturers could recommend that while drinking a certain wine, you should listen to a certain sort of music! But all poor Derth could magane was heavy breathing, being a sot on a crutch. These guys are a mite light in the sabre! The Jedi are known to take infants from their parents, and to use mind control. A brotherly gaolmouth melee. But so is the government. They're all about saving Camelot for King Merlyn and Arthur. I guess me Jedi name would be: Hobin Rood If I Ever Get Out Of Dour, Thought Of Giving It All A Scour To A Registered Charity. All I Need Is A Pint An Hour If I Ever Get Out Of Sour. I must remember to drink wine in sipids.